It's Invent A New HTML5 Tag Day! (Noscope)

It's Invent A New HTML5 Tag Day!

« Prev Next » 14:03 on June 8, 2009 webdesign

What is HTML5, really? Well, right now, reading this, you’re probably looking at XHTML1 or HTML4. So to explain: HTML5 is the next big thing for the web. Because HTML5 is one more. Or 4 more, if you’re using XHTML.

But wait, there’s more! HTML 5 has a whole lot of things to offer — more tags, for instance! Because despite what the gurus have said the last decade, that separating presentation from content is good, a new tag means a new feature, and HTML5 has new features coming out of every orifice. Leaking tags, almost. Some of my favourite new tags include, but are not limited to:

<nsfw>, for when you want to designate something to be “not safe for work”. For instance, juggling with knives is not safe for work. Unless you work at a circus. Porn is also not safe for work, unless you work at a porn studio. Writing about the Tianenman massacre may also not be safe for work, especially if you work in the chinese government.

<aside>, for when you want to designate something to be beside the point. For instance, if I were to write something like:

“Excuse me, is this MAD Magazine?”

“No, it’s Mademoiselle. We’re buying the sign on the installment plan.”

… that would be totally beside the point, and hence ripe for HTML5.

<menu>, for when you’re working on a website for a kitchen or restauraunt, menu is perfect for indicating to screenreaders when you’re reading a menu aloud. I’ll have the Soup du’Jour, please.

But It Doesn’t Have To Stop Here!

As you can see, HTML5 is a bold new vision for the future. I really can’t wait til 2022, when HTML5 is scheduled to be done. Fortunately that gives us a little lee-way in recommending new tags to the standards boards. Here’s my wishlist:

<hello>, for when you need to indicate a greeting and/or salutation.
<hi>, for when you need to indicate a casual greeting and/or salutation.
<sarcasm>, for use in Digg.com comments.
<rickroll>, for whenever you need to fail at rickrolling someone.
<lol>, for when something is laugh out loud funny!
<roflmao>, for when something is rolling on the floor laughing my ass off funny!!!
<lolcat>, for whenever girls post pictures on the web.
<fubar>, for whenever you need to discuss the viability of new HTML5 tags.
<controversial>, for when you’re writing about atheism or global warming. I predict this tag will be wildly popular.
<first>, for when you intend to post the first comment on a website. I predict this tag will be even popularlier.
<dramaticprairiedog>, for whenever you feel it appropriate to counter a response with a picture of a dramatic prairie dog.

<penny> for your thoughts?

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Luke L says:

June 8, 2009 at 14:07

<rating> could be very useful for forums and review sites.

Ulf says:

June 8, 2009 at 14:09

Great article. You forgot to enclose it in the <rant>-tag, though.

Brian Meidell says:

June 8, 2009 at 14:11

I’d like to see an <moron> tag, which could be used to wrap most of the content on the internet, written by morons, which could then be easily filtered.