Litany of fear

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

The above may be fiction, but it’s good fiction.

Turtles all the way down

It’s turtles all the way down:

A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, “What is the tortoise standing on?” “You’re very clever, young man, very clever”, said the old lady. “But it’s turtles all the way down!”

In other news, the pope now acknowladges that god was behind the big bang.

This too shall pass

My favourite story of all time, which I feel like posting today, has been told in  many different ways:

An old Chinese mandarin, during the minority of the young Emperor, had been governing the country for him. When the Emperor came of age the old man gave him back the ring which had served as emblem of his vicariate, and said to his young sovereign: “In this ring I have set an inscription which your dear Majesty may find useful. It is to be read in times of danger, doubt and defeat. It is to be read, as well, in times of conquest, triumph and glory.” The inscription in the ring read: “This, too, will pass.” The sentence is not to be taken to mean that, in their passing, tears and laughter, hopes and disappointments disappear into a void. But it tells you that all will be absorbed into a unity. Soon we shall see them as integral parts of the full picture of the man or woman.

When I remind myself of this story or tell it to friends in need, I usually exaggerate it wildly and tweak the story to suggest the many years it took to research an ultimate final answer to all questions. This answer would then be wrapped in an envelope and given to the emperor to open only when in dire need, for instance, after having been chased up a hill by a raging lynch-mob. “This too, shall pass” may be big picture, but it is true.

Embeddable Tweets

Twitter has a new experiment that allows you to embed tweets. It works, but it’s not superb, and if they plan to roll this out of their labs (which they should, embedding is caring) it should be a simple button attached to each tweet:

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There is a broad consensus that Uwe Boll defies the infinite monkey theorem. Given eternity, infinite Uwe Bolls could not write Shakespeare.less than a minute ago via Chromed Bird

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It could work.

14 Tweets For Successful Living

One reason to follow me on Twitter is my themed tweets, of which the most recent theme, “Tips For Successful Living” is archived below in chronological order:

  1. Don’t let bad bicyclists stress you out. They don’t know any better.
  2. Pour the milk in your nescafe before the hot water. It’s a good thing.
  3. Spend time to earn time.
  4. If you can’t get up late, get up early.
  5. Boys don’t cry. But they do listen to The Cure.
  6. Spend less time worrying, than you do not worrying.
  7. If in doubt, green is the color you want to go for.
  8. Behind every great man, there’s a bottle of Kahlua, a bottle of Stolichnaya and milk until it’s light brown.
  9. Behind every great woman there’s a bottle of Kahlua, a bottle of Stolichnaya and soymilk until it’s light brown.
  10. There is no instance of a person having benefitted from working too long on the same thing.
  11. You can live a perfectly good life, without having to ever use PowerPoint.
  12. When life gives you a lemon, squeeze it over your chicken dinner and serve with salvie.
  13. If a machine can do some of your work, let it.
  14. At some point in your life, you should visit Sweden.

Upcoming themes include but are not limited to:

  • How to know if you’re actually a robot
  • 20 ways to cook rice
  • 96 reasons why Time Cop is better than Transformers 2
  • 42 reasons to quit smoking and pick up drinking
  • Why I think George W. Bush was a killer robot from the future
  • Why I find it unlikely that we’re actually in the matrix right now
  • 201 excellent and absolutely hilarious uses of the color brown